Do you still believe that getting to know older guys is equivalent as getting to know the lads you often date?
Do you recognise yourself today as the same guy you were in the twenties or thirtysomethings? Have your priorities altered significantly? Has experience changed your view on ideas you once believed to be unquestionable truths and given you new life skills?
What about dating and relationships, for instance? Have you revised your 'checklist' to include the 55-year-old guys you are seeing instead of 35-year-olds in order to show them more respect? Have you come to the realisation that, whether you have a relationship or not, your value is far greater than when a guy desires you?
If you're anything like me, then you'll probably respond "yes" to all of these. Your mind has undoubtedly been awakened to new ideas while maybe being closed to others. You've acquired life lessons that have helped you succeed both at home and at job.
In fact, at this stage in your life, you likely feel very clever. And you ought to! Over time, you have accomplished a lot and learned a tonne of new abilities. All of this added together has made you a knowledgeable lady.
Men develop and change, just like us. You may be heard yelling, 'I know that!' (I'm inclined to add a 'duh' here, too.) However, in my job as a Relationship and Love Mentor for Women Over 40, I frequently assist women who claim to understand this but still have a propensity to judge men based on preconceptions and expectations that began in their adolescence and persisted.
Men your age and older have lived good lives for themselves, gained experience, and become more mature. and these guys are great companions. Yes, there are a few exceptions, just as there are certain women who date as though they were still in their 20s. However, when you make the error of believing the adult guys you are dating are immature.
Based on our experiences dating boys, the following are three typical misunderstandings about men:
Misunderstandings #1: When dating older men, they like chasing after them.
Even if they were previously ‘that guy,’ most adult men, particularly the self-assured, successful men you want to date, no longer find the value in the difficulty of a chasing and have given up on it as a pastime. Why? First, they no longer need to compete as they were in their 20s since there are now more women than men. Additionally, their hormones have balanced out and they have expanded their perspectives of who they are, which lessens the urge (and occasionally capacity) to rack up physical achievements.
Finally, successful adult males understand how to attain their goals in life. They will continue on if they believe you are unreachable, indifferent, or don't have room for others in their lives. They won't waste their time trying to defeat anything (or someone). You would?
Additionally, girlfriend, keep internet dating in mind. He won't pursue you on either till he meets you in person!
Inform him that you are very much looking forward to speaking with him again. Mention how much fun you had and how you'd love to do it repeatedly. Smiling while looking him in the eye. Ask him real inquiries about subjects that pique his interest. Congratulate him. Accept with grace. Play around with him. Laugh. These are all effective approaches to demonstrate your genuine interest.
Misunderstandings #2: Men can't or won't express their emotions.
Like you, males have spent a lot of time in professional and personal situations that have necessitated good communication skills development. Men will pay attention and respond when you speak to them. The news is excellent.
Keep in mind that he can be willing yet unable to communicate his demands and emotions, and that confusing both of them can be deadly. Most males, unlike us, have never expressed their emotions or shared their struggles in public. He could need your assistance, but the proper man will be open to instruction.
Misunderstandings #3: Because ‘you are there’ and you can provide sex, men will choose you.
Men's egos and libidos may be quite strong, especially in their 20s and 30s. On the whole, though, the adult guys you're dating now have realised that spending time around the incorrect individual is far worse than spending time with oneself.
There is no reason to feel pressured to 'give him what he wants' when it comes to sex. Most guys will be patient if you look like the appropriate lady (as soon as they are aware that it will happen eventually). The phrase "all men want is sex" needs to be abandoned above all. You will just come to distrust guys as a result. That eventually builds a barrier among you and the guys you encounter, which never leads to happy relationships.